Defining My Essence

How To Deal With A Toxic Person

Published November 18, 2021
Author: Claudie P

I think everyone knows of someone that is toxic. If you don’t know, let me explain the personality of a toxic person. People that are toxic do not care about anyone’s feelings but their own. They are very manipulative, they like to get their way and if they don’t they get angry. Toxic people won’t ever apologize when they are wrong, they like to play the victim and blame other people for their wrong doings. They lie a lot, even little things that aren’t important to most people. I think that the worst thing that a toxic person does is emotional blackmail, an example would be when my mom told me that if I didn’t go into the career that she wanted she wouldn’t help pay for my education. If this sounds familiar then you are dealing with a toxic person. It is stressful being in this position because their needs come before your own, which isn’t right. It’s emotionally draining to put all your energy into this relationship when you don’t get anything positive out of it. All you get is negativity, stress, and heartbreak. Now that you know what a toxic person is, let me tell you how to deal with them.

  1. Recognize that they are toxic. Being knowledgeable about the personality of a toxic person can help you take the next steps on deciding if you want to continue having that person in your life and how to approach them.  
  2. If you can’t tell that they are toxic, get a second opinion. An outside person can help you realize if you aren’t being treated right. Since you are in the situation you have your blinders on and you probably don’t realize the severity of the situation. It can be cathartic to talk to someone about your frustrations of the toxic person.  
  3. If you don’t have other people that you can talk about this with, go see a therapist. Therapists are there to listen to your problems and give you an unbiased professional opinion. They can help guide you through your situation. 
  4. Make boundaries. If you don’t want to spend a lot of time with them you don’t have to. Set a time limit that you can handle to spend with them. If you don’t want to hang out with them at all, don’t. 
  5. Limit what you say about your personal life. Toxic people want a way to get into your life and if they know everything they can find a way to manipulate you. So the less they know the better. 
  6. Express to them how they make you feel. They won’t know if you don’t tell them. It doesn’t mean that they will change, but this is the perfect time to listen to their response after you get everything off of your chest. See how they react, it’s more than likely that they will try to blame you. 
  7. If they don’t try to change, walk away. Don’t waste your time on people that won’t do the same for you. A friend, or family member should want to lift you up instead of constantly bringing you down. You don’t need that negativity in your life, so if you can get out of that situation. 
  8. Eliminate other potential toxic people in your life. Now that you know what to look out for in a toxic person you can begin to determine if other people in your life are toxic and ward off other toxic people.  
  9. Make new friends. Not everyone is going to be toxic and you should try to trust people again. Knowing all of this information can help you steer clear of toxic people and help you find the right people to hang out with. 
  10. Live your own life and take time to focus on yourself. A toxic person hates when the person they were controlling is doing better without them. Take control and enjoy your stress free life.

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